Hypocrisy

My life has fallen to shambles, and it is only my first year in college. I've dealt with love, sex, betrayal, hate, and bullying all from the same person, but this post isn't only targetted at that one person. It is both of you, but each member of your quartet falls under these words. 

I don't get people. We are all the same and should expect the same thing from each other as you do with yourself without getting angry, yet hypocrisy runs amok. 

I don't get it. 

Why do you tell me to open up, and then when I do, you strike down swiftly, saying I'm needy and manipulative?

Why do you ask me how I'm doing, when you will just berate me for anything that I say?

Why am I always in the wrong, even when you admitted to coming to my room with the intent of seeing me hurt?

Why do you think you can diagnose me with BPD, when you aren't a health care professional, and all of what you say is biased and even my psychologist confirmed that everyone has some traits and I definitely do not have BPD?

Why did you yell at me for getting drunk (it was only a single beer) the Friday after we broke up and crying over how much I missed the good things about you, and then yourself get drunk and proceed to tell the brothers (of the frat I convinced you to pledge with me) how I ruined your life?

Just because I am not comfortable with confronting you and hurting your feelings, doesn't mean you can come into my room and call me a manipulative bitch, the worst person ever, a slut. 

You call me manipulative, but honestly, look at yourself. You knew how much I was hurting after you ripped me to shreds, and you knew I have a caretaker personality from the time I took care of you when you were sick. Yet you still made the proposition and knowing me, you knew I'd agree. I shouldn't have done that, but somehow I fell back into your trap. And now I feel hurt and used, and I can't let anyone know why. So now bitch about me to your friends, to my ex-best friend, to the people I introduced to Squad, to the people you had secretly made fun of earlier, to the people you love shitting on when they are not around. Hopefully, they find out about all of those times, but they should find out by themselves, because who am I to say anything. 

You say you want to know what people say about you and yet you don't even have the decency to say how and when you betrayed me. 

I am so lost as to how I can fix myself. Since you seem so hell-bent on instructing me how I should live my life with rules quite different from yours, please elaborate on your plan for the rest of my short life until I actually take that shot of bleach to cleanse me from your dumb rules. 

So thank you, Gianna, Mandy, Amy, and Ted. Thank you very, very much for all that you've put me through because now I'm a stronger person, and don't worry. I now realize that I don't need two-faced people in my life, ready for sex at one moment and then ready to cut ties with me the next. 

But it's ok, Karma is a bitch. Wishing ill on others will just drain you and cause more problems in the future. Have fun :)