Why do I say "I don't want anything right now" but that translates into "try again tomorrow and I will say yes"?
I need to learn to say no. I need to be like fuck you. NO.
I am not attracted to you. It was the night of break up 3 and you went for a kiss the night after. Why did I have to say things that boosted your low self-esteem at my cost? Why did I have to listen to everything you said. I feel disgusting.
I had SRS right after night 1, but I couldn't sleep in my room nor go to a lounge nor in M's room. I hated myself more than anything, but I know depression. It is easier to deal with angry people than sad people. I couldn't let him see that he wasn't what I wanted, just the idea of him was enough to make me not go "haha nope" and instead go I don't think so.
I can't tell him that I talked to the therapist that he sees that I didn't feel anything. Like he made me happy as a friend, comforting and willing to help, but I could never see him as a romantic prospect. But shit went on and I regret it totally. Ew talk about bodies, why?
The Tuesday before anything went down with M, I made it clear I wanted nothing more from him, but he said it was late at night and that I wasn't thinking straight. Thus dismissed with a single line, I went to bed and he wanted more.
I hate being assertive to people who have more power than me.
I need to learn to say no. I need to be like fuck you. NO.
I am not attracted to you. It was the night of break up 3 and you went for a kiss the night after. Why did I have to say things that boosted your low self-esteem at my cost? Why did I have to listen to everything you said. I feel disgusting.
I had SRS right after night 1, but I couldn't sleep in my room nor go to a lounge nor in M's room. I hated myself more than anything, but I know depression. It is easier to deal with angry people than sad people. I couldn't let him see that he wasn't what I wanted, just the idea of him was enough to make me not go "haha nope" and instead go I don't think so.
I can't tell him that I talked to the therapist that he sees that I didn't feel anything. Like he made me happy as a friend, comforting and willing to help, but I could never see him as a romantic prospect. But shit went on and I regret it totally. Ew talk about bodies, why?
The Tuesday before anything went down with M, I made it clear I wanted nothing more from him, but he said it was late at night and that I wasn't thinking straight. Thus dismissed with a single line, I went to bed and he wanted more.
I hate being assertive to people who have more power than me.
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